I Like This New You

Sometimes I feel I’m shouldering a mountain,
Of thoughts and feelings eager to be shared.
With you, certainly.
I carry them, wherever I travel.

Tucked away in the nooks and corners,
Are pint-sized memories I savor.
Kissing the top of your head,
As you rest against my shoulder.

Within moments you curl,
Like an earlobe beneath the sheet.
You look like paradise.
The sunlight angles through the pinhole.

Just with that, a silence spreads.
The silence in this moment, is different.
It’s maddening.

It’s something that I haven’t experienced,
In the last 27 years,
The air around becomes heavier.
There is so much, I want to say,
But again I can’t find the words.

My life is a ticking bomb,
Diagnosed with a deadly medical situation – Alzheimer’s!
Whenever I dream about the last few hours of my life,
I feel my heart pulsing in my cheeks.

What is life at the end?
Nothing but an accumulation of memories.
Memories beautiful and glittering.
What about slammed doors and silent nights,
Will you remember those?

For what it’s worth, I like this new you.
She gripped my hands with love and warmth.