The Last Breath, The Firm Eyes That I Can Never Forget!

Some memories or incidents in our life stay forever.

There can be few experiences which are dreadful and disheartening. Though we try to forget them, they hardly can be expunged. Bits and pieces of those memories still reside some uncharted nooks and corners of our hearts.

People work to feed themselves and their families, live happily in walls built with cemented concrete slabs which they call as “Home”. Amongst all these merrier things, there are hindrances in life created by the tiring jobs, the pressure to achieve some goals – both personal and professional. Add to these, problems – personal, financial, psychological, building the pressure, depression, agony, frustration and many more. Many try to vent it out by seeking pleasure weeding it out, some try to make some time for the things they love so that they can relieve themselves from the temporary pain, and some face the monsters of frustration as a stalwart. It’s everyone’s personal choices with no obligations.

Travelling in a, fortunately, crowd free train, securing a place on the wooden seats, I was typing something on my mobile pondering over some thoughts and experiences when I saw this woman sitting near the footboard of the train. Her hands were robust, firm, looked as if they worked for a long time. Wrinkled arms and palms probably by lifting heavy loads bare-handed. The bangles that she wore showed her strong belief towards her tradition – as if the only ornament that was destined for her – like gold.

She resembled some woman from the northern part of India where people of some sects wear such huge bangles and embellish themselves as a part of their tradition. She was lost in her own thoughts – not sure about what – but I am presuming it would be about how she would make her bread and butter for her family. She seems broken, but her eyes and lips were sewn, made me feel that she never revealed her emotions or pain to anyone. Kept everything all to herself. Believe me, I wanted to hear her out. I had an intense feeling to talk to her and smile, and just let her know that she was so strong and whatever she was thinking about – it was all going to be okay.

The enormous bindi on her temple possibly gave her the power and focus to face this world full of fleece and chicanery. She had a small tattoo on her right hand – a shapeless flower possibly drawn by a local guy working who had an inclination of art. A load full of clothes – ripped and old, she was the rag picker. She seemed to live her daily life by with a handful of money collecting clothes and transporting it to the recycling factories. The lines on her hand depicted a completely different story. Cuts and marks resembling the pain she must have experienced while working under vulnerable circumstances.

I was gawking at her incessantly in despair, she looked at the people around her and amidst all she saw me. The next thing that I saw was the scariest of all. She jumped off the running train – head first and within a split second the lady with her shadow was gone without any imprints left behind. The one whom I was noticing for a while disappeared. A number of questions populated in my mind with no answers – all becoming skeptical about what happened just now.

It was a daunting experience where I could literally remember the glimpses of her stern look at me before the leap. It seemed as if she was making me the witness of her muddled life and took the scary step of her life. Her last look, her last breath jammed my heart and I can never forget the dreadful scene ever in my life.

As I always say, “Breathe” – feel the air passing through your nostrils, down in your lungs and feel it gushing and pumping blood to each and every part of your body. Realize the adrenaline rush and then take every step of your life. Life is short yet long with the accomplishment and experience of short-term and long-term goals. So live it to the core! Make use of it! Do not take the wrong step that would be the last of your breath.

If you wish to talk your heart out about anything and everything, feel free to share it anonymously in the comments, I will answer them.